Weight!

All week I've been meaning to bring an old picture of me to work, so I could scan it and upload it to this blog. I wanted to post of picture of me at my heaviest and a picture of me now. I think I've written previously about my constant struggle with my weight. When I graduated from college, I weighed 250 pounds. I have lost 80 of those pounds, which is no small feat! But according to the Body Mass Index (BMI), I should lose at least 15 more pounds to no longer be considered overweight. I should say that I have some issues with the BMI. It doesn't take into account frame size or muscle. I know that I should visit my doctor and talk about an appropriate weight. I should have a body fat test done. But I also know that I could stand to lose at least 15 pounds. Not because the BMI has classified me as overweight, but because I know the risks of carrying around extra weight.

Despite all this logical thought, I must admit that, even though I have been at my current weight (within 5 pounds) for over 6 years, I still think of myself as a fat girl. In my mind's eye, I am almost as big as when I graduated from college. My brain tells me that's not true. My friends and family tell that's not true. But my heart hasn't accepted that as truth. Not yet, anyway. Perhaps it will someday. In the meantime, I remind myself of all the things I can do more easily now that I'm not so heavy - jog, sit in theater and airplane seats, navigate a crowd, etc. I still have a hard time practicing portion control, especially when I'm not at home. I still can't turn down ice cream (or most other sweets). I still overeat. But I still try.